Girl or Girlyboy (Foto--Piers)

Foto: Girl or Girlyboy?--The DaVinci Code

Dear Piers,
° I knew that Leonardo invented the helicopter, wrote in mirror code, and devised multiple means of mass destruction, all the time whiling away his spare hours with cute young men, but when--after seeing The DaVinci Code--I reexamined La Cena Ultima I was surprised to find that he’s also the father of the foam "We’re Number One" prosthetic hand. Or else the stiletto shoe. Can’t say for sure which item little girlyboy John is kissing.
° ((Of course, it’s all naked plaster. Scarcely any of Leonardo’s paint remains on the wall, restorers can make John into Mary Magdalene or Minnie Mouse equally plausibly.))

§

° I know nearly as much about Mary of Magdala (22 Julii) as I do of Leonardo.

1. Jesus healed her of seven devils (meaning, she had been severely emotionally disturbed, perhaps manicdepressive);

2. She was one of three named women of wealth who paid for Jesus’s ministry and managed the daily household details for him and his male followers;

3. She was the founder of the Catholick Church; for it was she alone who missed Jesus enough to “see” him after his death, as one does see the beloved dead (Luke, completely dickwhipped by Paul, ergo Peter, tells what would be a baldfaced lie if he’d told it convincingly enough to fool a fiveyearold child).

° Missale Romanum notwithstanding, she was not the sister of Lazarus (Oratio: . . . cujus precibus exoratus, quatriduanum fratrem Lazarum vivum ab inferis resuscitasti. Qui vivis.), and therefore not the woman who anointed Jesus’s feet with perfumed unguent and her own tears (Sequentia sancti Evangelii secundum Lucam. Cap. 7), and therefore not “peccatrix.” Though Luke’s transition to Mary of Magdala in Chapter 8 is so abrupt, that nobody can blame the Church for her mistake.
° You may think that what Mary of Magdala really was and really did is more distressing for Petrine Christianity than any marriage she might have made with Jesus, any children she might have borne.
° I may think that that’s why she disappears without a trace. Saint Luke had the writing of the Acts of the Apostles, and Saint Paul will've hated the woman’s guts.

§§§§§

° And when did albinos stop having pink eyes?

° Angelicly, Giac.