Contents Execrable, Part III (Foto, Lad)

Contents Execrable, Part III

LXXIV--Ad Lesbiam ((?))

. . . .
quod uoluit fecit: nam, quamuis irrumet ipsum
nunc patruum, uerbum non faciet patruus.

((sometimes the editor is right, “screws over” is all that’s meant; and anyway, it doesn’t count if it’s your uncle? or his wife?))

LXXVIII

Gallus habet fratres, quorum est lepidissima coniunx
alterius, lepidus filius alterius.
. . . .

((and of course aunt and nephew don’t count either))

LXXVIIIb--Ad Rufum

. . . .
sed nunc id doleo, quod purae pura puellae
suauia comminxit spurca saliua tua.
. . . .

((sloppy wet kisses were always sloppy and wet))

LXXIX

Lesbius est pulcer. quid ni? quem Lesbia malit
quam te cum tota gente, Catulle, tua.
. . . .

((and brother and sister don’t count, do they?))

LXXX--Ad Gellium

. . . .
nescio quid certe est: an uere fama susurrat
grandia te medii tenta uorare uiri?
sic certe est: clamant Victoris rupta miselli
ilia, et emulso labra notata sero.

((burst rectum, lips covered in slimy fluid, just Lord have mercy!))

LXXXVIII--Ad Gellium

Quid facit is, Gelli, qui cum matre atque sorore
prurit et abiectis peruigilat tunicis?
. . . .

((the editor hopefully notes, “perhaps it’s only his stepmother”))

LXXXIX--In Gellium

Gellius est tenuis: quid ni? cui tam bona mater
tamque ualens uiuat tamque uenusta soror
tamque bonus patruus tamque omnia plena puellis
cognatis, quare is desinat esse macer?
. . . .

((no, mothers and sisters and uncles and cousins do not count, but they can sure help burn the calories . . . .))

XC

Nascatur magus ex Gelli matrisque nefando
coniugio et discat Persicum aruspicium:
. . . .

((so now let’s blame it on the Persian magi, what an Epiphany!))

XCI

. . . .
et quamuis tecum multo coniungerer usu,
. . . .

((since you couldn’t seduce my mother and sister, you found a way to really hurt me . . . .))

End of Part III, Contents Execrable