Please Surrender (Foto, Coz)

Dear Coz,
° I have seen my very first animé, Sky Blue.
° Was it good? Dunno.
° Was it stupendous? Why yes.

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° I have seen my very first Siamese kickass film, Ong-Bak.
° Was it good? Don’t care.
° Was it tasty? Why yes.

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° Afterwards I toddled over to Trattoria Coloreproibito, and immediately fell in with Stella and Palla Canestro, from over in the Lake District.
° Stella’s a journalist; she voted for Kerry, so she must be that famous LeftistLeaningLiberalBiasedPress we’re all the time hearing tell of.
° We talked politics for a while, until we’d emptied one whole leg of the bar.
° Then we switched.
° To the other corner, and to linguistics.
° And that worked too, emptied the entire place in no time flat.
° Bimeby we ambled down Memory Lane, which led us, naturally and inevitably, to Piazza Good Old Days, back before VD had earned its PhD.
° We had just stared wistfully at G and barely caught sight of H when young Osvaldo, overhearing and pricking up his ears, asked candidly, "Herpes and hepatitis are the same thing, aren’t they?"
° God bless our Public Health Policy, I thought to myself. Out loud:
° "Not entirely. Hepatitis (A) is a form of chemical tanning administered by eating raw salad at D----’s. Herpes, on the other hand, is the plural of herpee, as in, ‘Did you know you have a herpee on your lower lip?’"
° So, now he knows.

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° I scarcely had time to recite, with Evitalike gestures and dramatic emphasis, my Compleat Method of Obtaining Victory by Surrender for Stella’s benefit, but I did give away a free sample.
° The day after last Autumn’s election Stella’s Bushite boss hardly said Good Morning, before he began to rub it in. And you know Kerryites, you know how they will respond to such goading.
° Fulminations, dire predictions, the Evil Eye. (For Stella is a tarotpratitioner in her spare time.)
° While you know perfectly well what the correct response would have been . . . .
° Tic tac tic tac tic tac . . . .

° Exactly.
° Winner: "Well, Kerryite sweetydarling, I reckon our boy showed y’all."
° Loser: "I’ll say, it was like squashing cockroaches, only Kerry hadn’t even got a hard shell. One good thing, nobody will claim the election was rigged this time."
° And no matter how many times the Winner accused the Loser of claiming the 2000 election was rigged, the Loser had only to repeat, with the greatest good cheer, "Exactly, that’s what I’m saying."
° For that is what the word "what" is for.

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° God could’ve made me quickerwitted than Ann Coulter.
° But in his kindness, he made me dullerwitted than Ann Coulter.
° Deo gratias ago.

° Your dullard Cousin, Giac.