Can't Touch This! (Foto, Julja)

Can't Touch This! (Foto, Julja)

Dear Julja,
° If Catullus was nonplussed at the sight of a beautiful youth walking in the marketplace in company with an auctioneer,

Cum puero bello praeconem qui uidet esse,
quid credat, nisi se uendere discupere?

--is there any wonder that I was stupefied by Torvaldo last Saturday morning in the dressing room of the natatorium? Torvaldo, from head to toe the spitting image of what Praxiteles would’ve sculpted, had he had sufficient skill.
° For Torvaldo smiled and winked at one and all, then turned his back to the gross specimens of degenerated masculinity--o, the hairy porky beasts!--that regarded him with hostile envy, and, facing me, he bent over, stretching to touch his hands flat to the floor.
° So that they too, the hairy porky beasts, had the opportunity to ponder his new tattoo, in threeinchhigh blackink Gothic majuscules across the small of the back, just at the waistline of his paleblue bikerlength speedo:

DEAL WITH THIS!

° Timetravelling, Giac.