Papa Scienziato (Foto, Julja)

Dear Julja,
° A new scientific study asserts that what percentage of Americans is leading a healthful lifestyle, defined as

1. Not smoking;
2. Maintaining an appropriate weight;
3. Consuming 5 or more servings of vegetables and fruits daily;
4. Exercising regularly?

° The percentage is . . . .
° . . . . 3. Yes, 3% of us are living a healthful lifestyle.

§§§§§

° This means one of two things.
° Either 9,000,000 of us will have to bury the other 291,000,000. That could get old fast.
° Or else it means that this Scientific Study, like so many others nowadays, was funded by, and the conclusions therefore foreordained by, The Crystal Mething Asleep at the Wheeling Bareback Bottoming Venomous Serpent Handling Society of America.
° For, as Tom Ripley says in reverse, we all think our own poisons wholesome.

° Voltaireanly sceptical, Giac.