Girl or Girlyboy (Foto--Piers)

Foto: Girl or Girlyboy?--The DaVinci Code

Dear Piers,
° I knew that Leonardo invented the helicopter, wrote in mirror code, and devised multiple means of mass destruction, all the time whiling away his spare hours with cute young men, but when--after seeing The DaVinci Code--I reexamined La Cena Ultima I was surprised to find that he’s also the father of the foam "We’re Number One" prosthetic hand. Or else the stiletto shoe. Can’t say for sure which item little girlyboy John is kissing.
° ((Of course, it’s all naked plaster. Scarcely any of Leonardo’s paint remains on the wall, restorers can make John into Mary Magdalene or Minnie Mouse equally plausibly.))

§

° I know nearly as much about Mary of Magdala (22 Julii) as I do of Leonardo.

1. Jesus healed her of seven devils (meaning, she had been severely emotionally disturbed, perhaps manicdepressive);

2. She was one of three named women of wealth who paid for Jesus’s ministry and managed the daily household details for him and his male followers;

3. She was the founder of the Catholick Church; for it was she alone who missed Jesus enough to “see” him after his death, as one does see the beloved dead (Luke, completely dickwhipped by Paul, ergo Peter, tells what would be a baldfaced lie if he’d told it convincingly enough to fool a fiveyearold child).

° Missale Romanum notwithstanding, she was not the sister of Lazarus (Oratio: . . . cujus precibus exoratus, quatriduanum fratrem Lazarum vivum ab inferis resuscitasti. Qui vivis.), and therefore not the woman who anointed Jesus’s feet with perfumed unguent and her own tears (Sequentia sancti Evangelii secundum Lucam. Cap. 7), and therefore not “peccatrix.” Though Luke’s transition to Mary of Magdala in Chapter 8 is so abrupt, that nobody can blame the Church for her mistake.
° You may think that what Mary of Magdala really was and really did is more distressing for Petrine Christianity than any marriage she might have made with Jesus, any children she might have borne.
° I may think that that’s why she disappears without a trace. Saint Luke had the writing of the Acts of the Apostles, and Saint Paul will've hated the woman’s guts.

§§§§§

° And when did albinos stop having pink eyes?

° Angelicly, Giac.

Piers Speaks (Foto--Piers)

Foto: L'Orgue Mystique--Cycle de Paques

Dear Giac,
° My sortie on “Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf” with a counterpoint of “Ancient of Days” was a big hit on your halfName Day (1 maggio). Miao! Woof!
° Hope you are doing well. I had a wonderful few days in NYC, my young choristers did a great job of Evensong cum Benediction at Santa Maria Verginissima, and I was very proud of how well they sang AND behaved on Sunday.
° Saturday, Bastien and I were walking down the street and we happened to see Mark Consuelos (Regis’s Kelly’s most attractive husband). He was driving a black Volvo SUV with New Jersey plates and the windows rolled down. 42d Street indeed.
° On Sunday morning I heard Mass at St. Bartholomew's (Bastien was sleeping in), the Rt. Rev. Gene Robinson was the guest preacher. He delivered a marvelous sermon based on the Gospel for the day. The church was PACKED. At the conclusion of the service there was an extended receiving line so I wandered around St. Bart's for a while, and then came and got in line. This guy in front of me turned around and introduced himself. He had "the look" of either being a model or an actor. We talked about music for a while and then I asked him what he did. Well, his name is Steven Fales and he's the writer and lone actor in Confessions of a Mormon Boy which is currently getting great reviews running off-Broadway. He was very affable, and we had a great conversation as we proceeded closer to Bishop Robinson. When I finally got to Bishop Robinson he extended his arm to me and said, "Hi, I'm Gene." I introduced myself and then said "Yea, UMHM's ((University of the Mighty High Mountain)) Right." He smiled and proceeded to give me a big hug, asking when I graduated. We talked about some of the people we both knew there. He asked if I was aware of the controversy brewing on awarding him an honorary degree. I told him I was aware of it, and in fact had signed on to a letter circulated a year ago asking that the University honor its custom of awarding honorary degrees to any UmHm student that becomes a Bishop. He didn't seem to be too bothered by it, fortunately. I guess he's used to it by now.
° Anyway, last night was Uncle Princeton's birthday bash that was fabulous. Great fun and met some great people, saw Bastien off on the redeye.
° Then, this afternoon, on my flight back home, I was at the gate, went on to the plane, settled down and a few minutes later I happened to look up and lo and behold, entering the plane like Queen Elizabeth entering Parliament was none other than Hillary Clinton!!! I proceeded to call friends from the plane to share my excitement. She was sitting in the front row and I was about 1/3 of the way back. She never got up for the flight, and had several people in her entourage sitting around her. She was reading the New York Times for the entire flight. I had my camera with me and was seriously considering taking a picture of the back of her head--but given the fact that I had been reading an excellent book on Lincoln's assassination (entitled Manhunt -- I HIGHLY recommend it, great read), I was nervous about taking something out of my backpack and pointing it in the direction of her head, out of concern that some Secret Service person possibly sitting behind me would have proceeded to plant a bullet in my brain (and life has been too great of late to risk death for a picture of the rear of Hillary's head). When we landed, I popped out of my seat as fast as I could and made my way to the front of the plane. Alas, it was not meant to be. They held up the line and allowed her to depart before the rest of us. I saw no signs of her in the airport either, so she missed out on a great opportunity to meet me.
° Anyway, all was very exciting. Headed back to NYC next week--looking forward to it!

° Perpetually obedient to thy wishes, I be, Piers.

((Okay, I altered that close. And yet it’s true. Everything I always wanted to happen to me, every experience I missed and longed for--you have them, it’s your nature to have them. And if they happen to you, they happen to me.--Giac.))