Dear Coz,
° So much dead electronlight in Mondo Bloggo, so many blogs whose last post was a largefont allcaps of "VOTE KERRY". Then seven days of nothing but pure white light, like the finale of a Soviet revisionist Swan Lake. Blazing white grief.
° Not me, I’ve just been too busy casually dropping Citizen B-----’s bon mot into every conversation I’ve had. "Well the funniest thing I heard election night was on Radio Quebecois: some French wit said that the reason Americans liked Kerry was they wanted to be like him, and the reason they liked Bush was that they were like him." Never failed to drop jaws and elicit gasps, for it gored both sides and the middle about equally.
° Kerryans supposed they were being accused of social climbing, while Bushites supposed they were being accused of imbecility and redneckery.
° Evviva Cittadino Francesco!
° So much dead electronlight in Mondo Bloggo, so many blogs whose last post was a largefont allcaps of "VOTE KERRY". Then seven days of nothing but pure white light, like the finale of a Soviet revisionist Swan Lake. Blazing white grief.
° Not me, I’ve just been too busy casually dropping Citizen B-----’s bon mot into every conversation I’ve had. "Well the funniest thing I heard election night was on Radio Quebecois: some French wit said that the reason Americans liked Kerry was they wanted to be like him, and the reason they liked Bush was that they were like him." Never failed to drop jaws and elicit gasps, for it gored both sides and the middle about equally.
° Kerryans supposed they were being accused of social climbing, while Bushites supposed they were being accused of imbecility and redneckery.
° Evviva Cittadino Francesco!
§
" Here are two lists:
A. Presidents since FDR in the Andy Jackson mould:
Truman (a haberdasher with an explosive temper)
Eisenhower (General, but not so very)
Johnson (he lifted his beagles by their ears)
Nixon (too macho to accept rhinoplasty)
Ford (couldn’t go up a flight of stairs without a pratfall)
Carter (hopelessly holy)
Reagan (a bluecollar Hollywood star)
Clinton (born on the wrong side of the tracks)
Bush fils (Judy Garlandlike addictive personality, with a Truman temper)
B. Presidents since FDR in the George Washington mould:
Bush père (a genuine patrician, his one term a thankoffering to Ronald Reagan)
To which group would John Heinz Kerry have belonged?
° O, so that was it.
§
° How many times did you hear folks say, "Bush is the kind of guy I’d like to drink a beer with"?
° How many times did you hear folks say, "Kerry is the kind of guy I’d like to sip dry sherry and eat fish eggs with"?
° How many times do you still hear folks say, "Clinton is the kind of guy I’d like to smoke a cigar with"? Oops, off subject, perdonami.
§
° If not Kerry, then who of the possible Dems was potentially an A. List Andy Jackson?
° Well, Al Sharpton. But for some inexplicable reason . . . .
° Dismiss outofhand the one who shamelessly outed his own metrosexuality, the one who was a girly girl, the one who was a dork, the one who was a pisher, the one . . . .
° And that leaves John.
° John Edwards. John Bob Edwards. Born in a log cabin, burnt the midnight oil, took his squirrelgun and blew a $25,000,000 hole through Big Tobacco. Tough, mighty tough.
° Smooth, mighty smooth.
° John Bo (not Luke) Duke Edwards, all he had to do was buff up, put on a pair of tight faded Levis, mount a fireengine red NASCAR, and America was his’n.
° Too late now. For I have been granted a vision of the next headline proclaiming "Dems Retake Government." Date: 2/11/--but this post is overlong already. Another time.
° Your cousin, Giac.
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