Contents Execrable, Part II (Foto, Lad)

Contents Execrable, Part II

XXXII--Ad Ipsitillam

. . . .
nam pransus iaceo et satur supinus
pertundo tunicamque palliumque.

((postprandial, dopo il pranzo, (ad)jacent, giacere, sated, saziato, borethrough, pertugio, tunic))

XXXIII--Ad Ipsitillam (but not really)

. . . . quandoquidem patris rapinae
notae sunt populo, et natis pilosas,
fili, non potes asse uenditare.

((you couldn’t sell a certain hairy portion of your posterior for a red cent; a preceding line gives birth to the Italian taunt “fanculo”))

XXXVII--Ad contubernales, Ad Ignatium

. . . .
solis putatis esse mentulas uobis,
solis licere, quidquid est puellarum,
confutuere et putare ceteros hircos?
. . . .
Egnati, opaca quem bonum facit barba
et dens Hibera defricatus urina.

((yet another word for peckers; a reference to a popular Spanish dentifrice, the principal bleaching agent known to the Romans))

XLVIII

Mellitos oculos tuos, Iuuenti,
si quis me sinat usque basiare,
usque ad milia basiem trecenta
. . . .

((miele, honeysweet eyes; how many kisses applied; the expurgation arises from the sex of the owner of the eyes . . . .))

LIV--De Octonis capite

Othonis caput oppido est pusillum,
?? ?? rustice semilauta crura,
subtile et leue peditum Libonis,
. . . .

((a garbled attack on Julius Caesar, semilavato leg))

LVI--Ad Catonem

. . . .
deprendi modo pupulum puellae
trusantem; hunc ego, si placet Dionae,
protelo rigida mea cecidi.

((how to deal with a little boy messing with your girlfriend))

LVII--Ad Catonem

Pulcre conuenit improbis cinaedis,
Mamurrae pathicoque Caesarique.
. . . .
morbosi pariter, gemelli utrique,
uno in lecticulo erudituli ambo,
non hic quam ille magis uorax adulter,
riuales socii puellularum.

((trotting out all the pansyassedpoofterwords against Caesar, and adding adulter to the list)

LIX--In Rufum

Bononiensis Rufa Rufulum fellat,
. . . .

((at last, fellatio rears its pretty head, with a soupçon of incest))

LXVII--Ad Ortalem

. . . .
‘Primum igitur, uirgo quod fertur tradita nobis,
falsum est. non illam uir prior attigerit,
languidior tenera cui pendens sicula beta
numquam se mediam sustulit ad tunicam;
sed pater illius gnati uiolasse cubile
dicitur et miseram conscelerasse domum
. . . .

((yet another common winter vegetable that a man’s “dagger” can be limper than; major league incest, that is, inhouse child sexual abuse))

LXIX--In Rufum

Noli admirari, quare tibi femina nulla,
. . . .
laedit te quaedam mala fabula, qua tibi fertur,
ualle sub alarum trux habitare caper.
. . . .

((Right Guard applied to this area would banish the fragrance of billygoat))

LXXI--In Rufum

. . . .
nam quotiens futuit, totiens ulciscitur ambos:
illam affligit odore, ipse perit podagra.

((Latin’s most useful verb again; his odour murders her, his gout murders him))

End of Part II, Contents Execrable