Contents Execrable, Part IV (Foto, Lad)

Contents Execrable, Part IV

XCIV--In Cesarem

Mentula moechatur. Moechatur mentula? Certe.
Hoc est quod dicunt: ipsa olera olla legit.

((poor Mentula, but every language names some of its boys “Dick”))

XCVII--In Cesarem

Non (ita me di ament) quicquam referre putaui,
utrumne os an culum olfacerem Aemilio.
. . . .
quem siqua attingit, non illam posse putemus
aegroti culum lingere carnificis?

((long before Listerine was invented . . . ; how Latin resisted making this rimming action a compound verb I truly do not know))

XCVIII--In Cesarem

. . . .
ista cum lingua, si usus ueniat tibi, possis
culos et crepidas lingere carpatinas.
. . . .

((it’s not polite to make fun of folks with big tongues))

XCIX

Surripui tibi, dum ludis, mellite Iuuenti,
suauiolum dulci dulcius ambrosia.
. . . .

((this time it’s Juventius himself who’s honeysweet, so naturally a little kiss stolen from him would be sweeter than ambrosia))

CVI

Cum puero bello praeconem qui uidet esse,
quid credat, nisi se uendere discupere?

((well really, what else could it mean when you see an auctioneer with a pretty young man in tow?))

CXI

Aufillena, . . . .
sed cuiuis quamuis potius succumbere par est,
quam matrem fratres ex patruo . . . ((fragment))

((well we already established that uncle and niece don’t count, didn’t we?))

CXII--Fletus de morte fratris

Multus homo es, Naso, neque tecum multus homo ?? ??
te scindat: Naso, multus es et pathicus.

((It’s like he was writing in English, centuries before there was any such language . . . .))

§§§§§

° No great loss?
° Any verse vituperating Julius Caesar at a time when he was the new Robespierre is worth the Contrat Social itself, just ask the Ukrainians.
° The omission of the ‘Lesbius est pulcer’ makes mincemeat of the entire Clodius-Clodia-Catullus incestjealousy storyline.
° The suppression of the physical Iuventius poems falsifies the platonic Iuventius poems left in the collection.
° How many children for how many centuries have been sexslaves to their own fathers, partly because it was not “nice” to circulate information on inhouse sex abuse?
° And how, without these excised poems as tutor, could the average joe ever memorise all the sexverbs in Latin, irrumare pedicare defutuere ecfutuere futuere fellare cunnus (in aestu meientis mulae) lingere, und so weiter?
° And without a thorough knowledge of Latin sex terminology, how can priests, in the newly reLatinised Roman Church, be expected to direct their altarboys to the sweet spot?

Non maledirmi, non irrumarmi, Giac.

P. S. “Contents execrable, metre Phalaecean”? That was the verdict of Merrill’s unexpurgated 1893 edition upon the poem Amabo, mea dulcis Ipsithilla. 1893, the Good Old Days.